There is a lot of it out there when it comes to cancer.
But I can only post so many post anonymous comments on the Daily Mail in response to people who comment that anyone who has surgery and chemo for cancer is a fool or a 'Sheeple'. I would like to help people sift through all that stuff. I don't want people to feel bad about their treatment, or guilty, or God forbid, as if they have not been positive enough.
Cape Otway by me
The reason for the delay is this. The longer I left it, the more superstitious I became that the very instance I updated it to say all is well I would have some catastrophic relapse into Cancer World.
The same strange conviction has meant that I have not had my oven cleaned since December 2010, because the day I was diagnosed with cancer was the very day the Man Came To Clean the Oven. He did a great job by the way. But I feel that if I get him back, I will get cancer again. (In case you are wondering, yes I have cleaned my oven in the last 19 months. But myself, and not very well.)
From Anna Spiro's Instagram feed.
I know this is regressive, just like being a 16 year old and having some strange lovestruck repetivite thoughts like 'If this tram comes and if the boy is on it and sitting down the end then that means he likes me'.
But I can't help it. I have so little control over my life in some ways that if one way of getting that back is to have some little superstitions and phobias, then so be it. At least I don't have PTSD, which, truly, some people do get following cancer treatment.
Anyway, there it is. Have a read and you can see where I am.
From Facehunter's Instagram feed
I am also in another place at the moment, the world of Instagram. I must confess, I am finding Instagram a great place to instantly connect with people, in a way which is really simple, and uncomplicated. You can locate me on Instagram here .
I have included in this post some favourite images from the last little while. Fear not, you do not have to be inundated with images of 16 year old girls doing their nails. There are some wonderful images.
From NatGeo's feed
To be honest, Instagram reminds me of blogging when I first started. Before it got a bit cliquey, and a bit complicated, and a bit too much about branding, and advertising and making money from your blog, and counting stats, and linking, and etc etc. Is that negative? I don't mean to be.
I am just finding that I seem to have the time to post images to Instagram and I don't seem to have the time to blog. Feel free to follow me, but even better, go to Followgram and or sign up for Instagram if you have a smart phone and check out all the other amazing images, like Greenbeen below, who posts her fantastic breakfasts every day.
And if you have a feed I am not following, please let me know. I still find the Instagram search function hilariously beta. What I have found is a whole collection of Japanese people who post pictures of their very elegant, very charming cats. I cannot resist.
via Ryukutora's Instragram feed
Stay happy, dear readers.
xo
I don't know how people can be judgmental to cancer patients. Thank you for posting your experiences Jane.
ReplyDeleteI'm loving Instagram too, and feel just the same way you do about blogging 'back in the day' vs. now.
I'm now following you!
Cheers,
Janette xx
hi Janette - lovely to hear from you, and now I have found you on IG too. It is hard to find things isn't it.
ReplyDeleteI think people are judgmental about cancer because they are either ignorant or frightened. The most opinionated people are often those who have had no experience or contact at all with cancer. Sad but true.
Hi Jane, I found your post refreshing and beautiful and (when you talk about blogging) expressing really well the thoughts I had in my head for a while. I feel exactly like you about the blogging world and infact I have decided to take a more relaxed approach about it and just post what I love, simple as that without worrying about who's been and who's not. As a bit of a superstitious girl myself I will only just say I'm happy for you. Take care. btw I love the images- gorgeous and inspirational. Cx
ReplyDeletehi Claudia - thank you for your lovely thoughts.
ReplyDeleteIt is better to be relaxed about posting, isn't it? I just find it takes up too much time. Maybe I need to switch to wordpress. More user friendly I hear.
Hi Jane, thankyou........My Aunt is facing a brave battle of her own at the moment. She is doing it the natural way which I am struggling with as I can see for her it seems like no quality of life. What you have just made me realise is its completely her quality of her life. How she faces it is her way of controlling it. Its me who is scared. She is just getting on with it. I look forward to reading your update.
ReplyDeleteI am a huge advocate of conventional top quality treatment plus complementary therapies like diet, acupuncture, meditation etc. It is hard not to judge, because what you want more than anything is for your loved one to live. But it is also true that control is everything, and you have so little of it at these times that diet in particular becomes a tool. I wish your aunt all the best.
ReplyDeleteYou are an amazing and inspirational woman Jane. Thank you for sharing. I find myself identifying with much of what you say and the thoughts that you articulate. This post is a prime example eg: blogging taking too much time and being too commercial; having little superstitions that help you get your head around the things you believe you can control over; Instagram being such a simple place of expression and bloody difficult to search. Re time consuming blogging, I tend to just send an email with an image or text to my blog and it automatically posts it on my blog. It saves having to log in and 'find time' to write. Thanks again for sharing and I'll look for your on IG. Lucy :)
ReplyDeleteGreat Blog!! That was amazing. Your thought processing is wonderful. The way you tell the thing is awesome. You are really a master...thanks sell my villa
ReplyDeleteThanks Dany Chandra you are so sweet. Wait a minute! Are you spam? Oh you slipped past my defences with your smooth flattery.
ReplyDeleteThanks Lucy for your lovely words. They mean a lot to me. I will take you over Dany Chandra spam any day. xo
ReplyDeletehi Jane
ReplyDeleteYes cancer is a bugger, I was diagnosed with (you guessed it )..breast cancer in 2002.
Currently all is well but it's funny discovering you today when earlier I had visited the GP who first said about the lump under my arm "that doesnt feel good"
I too love, love the Secret History and Antonia Fraser biographies..have you read her Mary Queen of Scots?. I cried for Mary even though she died in 1587 or thereabouts
hi SMR - yes I loved Mary Queen of Scots. So sad, I agree. Always felt she was a very hard done by Queen. And the men in her life. Shockers.
ReplyDeleteDear Jane,
ReplyDeleteAlthough luckily, I haven't been in your position, I can really understand how you don't want to do the things that happened on the day or around the time that you found out that you had cancer......it's a bit of an OCD thing I suppose where people think that if they don't follow a certain process, something will happen to a memeber of their family. It sounds as if you have been told that this happens and, I'm sure it will pass in time.
I have yet to go down the Instagram route although I do have the App on my phone. I find it hardenough to post on my blog and only really post about once a fortnight which is enough for me.
I don't like this cliquey thing either where people that you don't know seem to love you !!!! I think that I have connected with a few people and think of them as penfriends which I rather like..... perhaps I need to go down the Instagram route !!!!
Keep well Jane . XXXX
What a wonderful post Jane. I don't know how you feel, but I do - in that I play those games with myself as well - to help me make decisions or whatever. It's silly but it's me. SO, I get why you do it!
ReplyDeleteI love how you describe instagram. It is so very like those simpler, early days of blogging. So warm and friendly, easy as well. I have met some wonderful people over there, but it's also nice to see blog buddies.
xx
As I said on Instagram, I agree with your whole post. So thoughtful, well put and full of insight. Blogging is hardwork, competitive, too opinionated and at times quite bitchy. Instagram on the other hand is quick, light-hearted, easy-on-the-eye, and spontaneous.
ReplyDeleteCancer sounds the absolute pits. I wouldn't judge anyone who's had it or how they choose to deal with it.
I love the speed of instagram.
ReplyDeleteJudgement is everywhere- cancer treatment, mother hood, whether you choose to be well groomed, how you eat. Boring isn't it.
I say run your own race.
I too never ever tempt fate with things like the ones you mention. Because I know the moment I do my world will unravel.
Take care xxxxxxx oo
Well i found you on Instagram, or you found me, whatever, i am only new to smart phones with the iPhone 5 & therefore Instagram debuted last week. I could NOT agree more, about how friendly, fun, light hearted & just happy Instagram is. It also reminds me of blogging years ago, i agree it's cliquey & living in Canberra, there ain't no cliques here!! I don't mind, i've always kind of stood alone, especially now i'm closing my business down after 12 years when most mummies are starting.
ReplyDeleteI think cancer is a very personal journey, no one has the right to say you have tried harder or been more positive than anyone else, or what treatment is right. Good on you for providing such healthy information. I can totally understand your superstitions, they make sense to you. FYI my soldier husband cleans an oven like no body, he even unscrews the elements & door, i married well & have NEVER cleaned an oven in my life. Love Posie
Jane, it's one of your IG
ReplyDeletefriends, Suzanne {I write
the blog Privet & Holly}
here. This is very timely
for me as one of my dearest
friends in the whole world
was diagnosed with BC
two years ago. She went
through chemo and radiation
and we thought she was
in the clear. Unfortunately,
despite a double M, it
has come back, in her
lungs....Stage 4. She also
believes, as you do, in top
notch conventional medicine,
supported by alternative
therapies like diet, acupuncture,
etc. Her doctor has said that
it can be treated like a chronic
illness, but not cured : (
I had to smile at your superstitions,
as I KNOW I'd feel the same way
in your shoes.
Thank you for being a positive
advocate and adding your personal
perspective to the conversation.
I so admire that and am happy that
you are a survivor!!
xo Suzanne
PS: I am attracted to IG for
all the reasons that you state.....
hi Holly - I am sorry for your friend, this is the thing that anyone with primary cancer fears above all. Your freind's doctor is right, the treatments these days do mean that all other things being equal, it can be treated and managed. But it won't go away as you say. Big hugs. Jane
ReplyDeleteJane, I completely understand the superstition thing. My daughter had a stroke aged 3, just on 4 years ago. It was 13 Sept, and we had been to a concert and swimming. Despite our positive outcome, I will never see that performer again or go to the pool with my girl on the 13th. For me I think it's that little bit of control I feel I have over something uncontrollable - if I don't do it nothing bad will happen.
ReplyDeleteI used to work where you do, also as a lawyer (in fact at that time four years ago) and have great admiration for you, and thoroughly enjoy your blog.
I'm not quite up with instagram yet, but if you like cute kittens on Japanese websites, you must follow this (via the creative finder on twitter) -
http://www.mymodernmet.com/profiles/blogs/ben-torode-kitten-in-japan
Warm regards
Sophie.
A very good post - I totally understand your superstitions and phobias - I have a few myself. And the little nagging thoughts still pop up from time to time, I guess they always will...the key is not to let them get to loud and bossy. Thanks for the instagram tips - I'm off to have a peek at those cats :) If you care to follow me on instagram here's the link: http://followgram.me/elsamay
ReplyDeleteTake care
Annie x
hi Sophie
ReplyDeleteHow are you? I remember you clearly! I am so pleased your little girl is okay. Very hard for you.
I have always said I would rather have cancer than see my children unwell.
Sounds like I could do a whole further post on weird superstitions.!
xo
Dear Jane,
ReplyDeleteI have just read through several of your recent posts and found them very moving. Your honesty regarding your experiences is very refreshing and completely agree with your sentiments regarding blogging.
I was particularly touched by your bedtime post. I whole heartedly understand your sons worry as I lost my mother to BC when I was all grown up in my twenties and I can only imagine the concerns he has in his little mind. I think it must be very difficult for you, as our protective instincts naturally try and make everything right for our little ones so they don't have to feel the worry we do.
I agree with you regarding the pressures people put on cancer patients to follow natural or alternative remedies. I really feel my mother died feeling like she failed because she couldn't cure herself with meditation and healing.
The most important thing you can do is take whatever treatment you can that is right for you and I 100% support getting the best medical treatment you can afford and if not getting your oven cleaned helps, do that too (or don't if you know what I mean) anything that gets you through is worthy.
It sounds to me that your getting on with your life very well and whilst my mothers story was a sad one I know many many more stories with a happy ending.
I am about to go look you up on Instagram as I have only just started one of my own.
Hugs to you and your little one,
Fiona x
Hi Jane, I am pleased you captured this - it says a lot and I feel like I am all caught up on where your head is at. Agree, agree and agree with what you have written and I can so relate to the oven story - that is exactly how my brain works! It's a shame that blogging does go monetised and clique-ey...I guess it says something about human nature that everything becomes an enterprise. I need to start Instagram; I am all out the loop. Oh I love the image of the cat - simplicity itself. Lou x
ReplyDeleteGood on you darl, great post. I think there is waaaay too much judgement in the world, in all forms. I know i'm not an angel, but my default position is to live and let live. Its too hard to be judgemental of others, i have my time so occupied with being self critical!! haha
ReplyDeleteI havent ventured into IG yet, but the day will no doubt come. As with most things in this cyber world, i tend to be late to the party and just get their on my own steam one day. Going to check your album out : )
Thank you for posting, Jane. When I went through my recent scare, yours was the first blog I went to, knowing what you've been through and how well you documented your journey. Your Instangram images are great. Hope you are doing well. :)
ReplyDeleteOh Jane. You darling girl - I'm not surprised at your superstitiousness after all you've been through. Surely it's a completely natural response.
ReplyDeleteHaving just fallen under IG's spell over the past fortnight and fortuitously found you, I completely concur with your thoughts. It's such a pleasure. Heading there now! J x
love seeing you on instagram, lady :-)
ReplyDeleteand sod those miserable bastards who could not in a million YEARS imagine what you went through and continue to recover from and feel and everything.
sending a virtual hug, a plate of scones and a large pot of tea and a soft, deep, cashmere throw in friendship via the interweb.
love from teamgloria xx
Hi Jane
ReplyDeleteI'm happy we've connected on Instagram as well as on our blogs-
xx
SP
PS. Have you read "Cloudstreet"??
Hello Jane...I loved looking at your IG photos, and as I am smartphone-less, Im happy that I can do so on your page. I too feel that blogging has gotten a bit 'much' in some arenas. I vow to keep mine simple till the end...finding the time to accomplish that though is the challenge.
ReplyDeleteSometimes a picture suffices when the words are not quite there...but your words are very special, so please don't give up on your blog just yet!
We've been dealing with cancer in our family and I have forwarded your blog to those involved knowing that it will bring support, knowledge, and comfort as they go through it. You've handled all so gracefully and in such a giving fashion, and have blessed many with hope and courage...we are all so grateful!
I'm still using my Paw Paw by the way...it's the best!
xoxo J~
Hello Jane,
ReplyDeleteI have a confession…
I have been a 'lurker' or as you put it like a cat burglar.
I have read your blog for some time now and never commented…till now.
I thankfully had connected with you via IG for some time now and have enjoyed every moment that you let me in to your world through your lens.
another confession whilst I am here:
your post (link below) a little while back me me openly cry.
Not small silent tears… those big sobbing howling ones.
Perhaps it was for all the other posts I read of yours and held them in.
http://mypeartreehouse.blogspot.com.au/2011/08/change.html
Hugs Jane and so happy I have now commented.
x Loulou
(ps; maybe you might like my little 1st production I did today with a YouTube video and a recipe on my blog.
http://www.hereiamloulou.com/2012/11/diy-raw-superfood-energy-balls-protein-spirulina-cacao/
Have just read your up-dated Cancer FAQ's. I love it for it's straight-down-the-line honesty, pragmatism & lack of saccharin coated, cliche-ridden advice. Call the Oven Cleaner man now, your cancer's not coming back, ever.
ReplyDeleteMillie xx
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ReplyDeletedearest one
ReplyDeleteare you writing somewhere else?
just checking on you..... *concernedlookfromLosAngeles*
we love your IG feed so will keep seeing you there.
and may we say Ticked PINK to see we're in your blog roll - just got a little pinkness in the cheeks to see our latest post there.....bless you, dear.
all the best, tg xx