A Dilemma of a Coffee Table Nature

Major disclaimer:  Solving this dilemma will not solve any of the real dilemmas facing Australia today like homelessness, our failure to encourage renewable energy investment, the division between rich and poor or our obsession with footballers and swimmers.   

But to me, it is still a dilemma.

Everyone has something they will never have in their home.  Mostly, that thing will be in the nature of finishes: marble is a common dislike, as are certain kinds of tiles or other flooring like cork or parquetry.  Or maybe mahogany furniture is not permitted to cross the threshold. 

For me, it is coffee tables.  Or should I say, for my husband it is coffee tables.  He loathes them.  He won't have any in the house.  Ever.  Under any circumstances.     He says that they are Always Ugly.    in fact, there is no coffee table I can show him which he will like.  

This is kind of an issue for me.  I would really like a coffee table in one of our sitting rooms.   After all, they really draw a space together.  On the other hand, they have lethal corners just ready to cut a little running and falling head.

In building my case for a coffee table I collected images of ones I like, and I find that they (and in fact the rooms they are in) all have similarities:

They are either glassy and wrought iron:
.  

Or acrylic or lucite:

Or a low interesting wood texture: 

More lucite:

More gold'n'glass:  

More lucite:

And look at this divine oval thingy:

So, this is my idea.

Who amongst us hasn't said, in response to a question from spouse\partner\accomplice 'Is that new?' about a [insert new item of absurdly unnecessary clothing]:  "What?  This old thing?  I have had it for years.'

What about a coffee table which is barely noticeable?  Something see through.  If I secrete it away, by the time it is noticed I will be able to honestly say I have had it forever and it will be too late to trash.

I am sure that lucite is as yesterday as Tuesday, but I still rather like them.  

So, my question is - is this a good plan or a bad one?  Do I live with the no coffee table ban for ever?  Or find a dasterdly way to get around it? 

(Images: (1) Gunkelman Flesher (2) (10) Angie Hranowsky (3) Nina Vintage Files @ wordpress (4) Decorpad (5) (6) (7) DecorPad (8) Elle Decor (9) Apartment Therapy  (11) Vogue Living Australia)

Tweet

Enormous useless speakers made useful and pretty

Allow me to introduce you to a pair of speakers.

Aren't they lovely?  Of course anyone who is under 30 probably won't know this, but this is the way we used to listen to music.  I believe they date from that decade when we wore scrunchies, baggy jeans and ruffled white shirts. 

These speakers have sat quietly in our front sitting room, weighing about 50 kg each and taking up rather a lot of space but otherwise minding their own business for about 9 years now.  Because of course, we have other, much, much, much smaller speakers.  In fact I am not even sure where the connecting leads for these speakers are.  

But do you think I can send them off to speaker heaven? No, I can't.   The following comments have been made about these speakers by a certain person (the owner):

• you would never be able to buy speakers of this quality today.
• there is no way we are getting rid of these.
• you never know -  we might use them at some point.
• they are hardly taking up any space - you can't even notice them.
• maybe the children can have them when they are a bit older.
• maybe one of the neighbour's kids might want them.

You may gather from the above that if I put these speakers out for the hard rubbish collection, it may just break his heart.  But still.  He said he wouldn't mind if I tricked them up a bit. 

So, after thinking a bit, I found a way to hide them and use them.

I have now turned his speakers into two plinth side tables.

First I bought some plywood.  Oh, and a saw, because we don't have one. 

Then I made a cage frame template thing to sit over the speakers.  I got the pieces sawn into the correct shape and stuck it together using ducting tape to make sure they all fitted. 

Then after some lengthy wallpaper sample experimentation, discussed here, I chose a colour, a goldeny Chinese print from GP&J Baker.  And then I waited, and waited, and waited, for it to arrive from the UK (by barge presumably). 

Once it arrived, I wallpapered the wood. 

I then stuck them together with more ducting tape.   This was the hardest bit, as I had to kind of squirm inside the cage to make the bits stick together.  

And then I put the frame over the speaker and slid it into place.  I think you can see from the photos that some of the edges may need a bit more work to make them completely square and neat.    Especially that pesky one on the left.   

And here they are: useless speakers made useful.

My new tables have a number of benefits.  First they are high enough to reach as most side tables are two low for the couches in this room.   Second they take the place of a coffee table, which I am not allowed to have in this or any room.   Third, they just look pretty.   And finally, my husband gets to keep his speakers.   In a sense.

Tweet

Current obsession - chests of drawers (or should that be chest of drawerses)

What an everyday item... but so important. Especially if you have a secret stream running under the old part of your house, as I do, which runs directly under an important part of my walk-in wardrobe (where my nicest clothes are) and where that stream may or may not be making some of my clothes slightly dampish and maybe not smelling so great.

Time to elevate all low lying clothes I said.

Off to Ikea to buy a very plain, very white chest of drawers and move all the low clothes into my bedroom proper and into the chest . If the knobs are ugly, I thought, as they usually are, no fear, I will buy some pretty crystal or porcelain knobs and all will be well. I had in mind something like this:

Or this:

Nothing wrong with that plan, right?

Unfortunately I may have mentioned my idea to my husband. He forbad me to make the excursion to Ikea. He said I will not have THAT furniture in our bedroom (or words to that effect).

(Clarification required: I love Ikea especially their white open storage shelves great for children's bedrooms. My husband cannot bear it. He can't stand all the crowds of people there, and the check out line, and the fact you can't take shortcuts to escape, and always tries to point out shoddy workmanship in the items when we are there (which as you can gather is not very often).

His solution (with which I eventually agreed) - my divine mother in law, who is in possession of a great deal of unused furniture, has loaned us a very serviceable oak chest. It needs some more blue and white, maybe some chinese ginger jars but I do not want to overload the minimal furniture free environment in our bedroom.

Chests of drawers are somewhat out of fashion. We all love to display our clothes these days in neat Aerin Lauder style open shelves. But mine now stores all my camisoles, scarves, stockings, Tshirts, knobbly and silk knits, and jeans. Things you generally know you have and don't need to see on display. I think.

Unless you are going to strip them down and paint which is probably a task I am not up to, the wood needs to have a real patina, and not be too orangey. That means age. And age can cost. However you can still pick up nice ones, in fact antique chests seem to be better value than new ones, because, as I mentioned above, I think they are a bit out of fashion.

Here are the ones I like:

And here is my humble one.

There is only one pitfall - I put all my black cardigans (of which I have many) and black stockings (again, many) in one drawer together, and now I need a torch to find anything!

(Images: (1) Homes and Gardens (2) and (3) Ikea (4) Country Living (5) Joanna Henderson (6) Polly Wreford (7) Chris Everard (8) Elle Decor (9) Cookie (10) Jane)

Tweet